Being a Dad is Weird

It’s weird. About two or three years ago, I started having this recurring thought:

How is it, that I feel as if just days ago, I was figuring out which college to attend, worried about whether I should ask someone out, and figuring out how to stay out as late as possible?

Now, two or three years later (No. I don’t know the exact amount of time, things are blurry, we’ll get there.), nothing has changed. As I sit here now, at my desk, in my own house, at 32 years old, I can close my eyes and instantly go back to senior year of high school or freshman year of college like they were yesterday.

I’ve come to realize that this will probably be the case forever, which is probably not news to those older or wiser than I am. I can see how at 50, 60, 70, 80, 90 years old you make feel more aches and pains physically, but really that’s not too much time on this earth.

I guess I just kept thinking that there was some magical thing that would happen over time, where I would be anointed as an “adult” and start to feel like an adult should feel and enjoy doing adult things. For me at least, nothing has changed. I am still the person I always have been; I still have the same fears (spiders), the same dreams (lifting the Stanley Cup – hey, one can dream!) and character (I still can’t turn my brain off).

Instead the more I think about the past and those good times, I am finding it pertinent to channel what made those years so special. I think it was that there was less pressure, less forward thinking. As an employee, I am constantly thinking about the next project or next promotion. As a Dad, I am constantly thinking about the next big event or milestone. As a Coach, it’s even more difficult, planning for the next practice, game and even the next season.

In reality, those events that are on the horizon are inevitable. While I take pride in always being prepared, I am realizing more and more that I have really got to take the time to embrace every day for the experiences it brings. It’s important to reminisce, but do so in order to learn or brighten your mood. It’s important to plan, but not at the expense of the here and the now, because you may miss out on experiences you would like to reminisce on in the future.

I am a Dad, and it’s weird.

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