In order to be successful, I am constantly looking for side gigs that could blow up, I am looking at the layout today and there are two arenas I am going to be working on growing. The first is TikTok, so go and follow @IntellectNebula on TikTok for upcoming content. The second is OnlyFans. This might seem a bit edgy and I understand if my family is concerned. Those concerns are valid. I am going to start putting out RAW content. If you are under the age of 18, it is strongly recommended you consider to stop reading now.
If you are looking for a new and raw sensual experience, be sure to subscribe to my OnlyFans @IntellectNebula, and you will be met with original and HOTT content. Below is an outline of the specials that will be running. For only $100 a month, you will have EXCLUSIVE access to the content below:
Every Monday, you will get an unedited video of me as soon as I wake up. Get excited as I slowly walk to the bathroom and stare at myself in the mirror wondering aloud what kind of stupid shit is going to come up at work this week. As I sigh heavily, I will walk over to the scale and weigh myself, just to give myself a reminder of how I need to eat better. Finally, you will get a sense of closure as you follow me down the stairs while I saunter to my desk to begin my week. You will smile in bliss knowing that your day is better than mine. In my opinion, Monday Depression all but pays for the whole subscription.
Tuesday TED Talks
On Tuesdays, tune in at 9pm as I try and hype myself up for the middle of the week. Topics will include, but won’t be limited to: rationalizing what ever work I have put off for the day, talking about doing push-ups and stretching the next day and wondering when the alien zombie invasion is coming to change the monotony of life.
Wednesdays will get kinky. Tune in for up close videos of my face as I think about the chores I need to get done for the week. Then watch closely as the passion heats up when I open Facebook and start looking at everyone else’s perfect lives. Things will get really hott when I start to passive aggressively comment on someone’s political post only to delete it. You’ll finish with full satisfaction when I click on that person’s profile and unfollow them, sadistically smiling, because they have no idea.
Thursday’s Guilty Pleasure
Make sure your spouse or boyfriend / girlfriend doesn’t know about your subscription if you’re watching Thursday’s post. On Thursdays, I will go live as I stand outside my garage and stare into the distance at my neighbor’s houses. I will wonder aloud about what they are doing, while making up fictitious storylines of credit card debt and extra marital affairs. Then, things will get really naughty as I rank every yard and landscape job in eyesight. I will be sure to be ultra-critical, making sure I am coming to conclusion that my house looks the best… because it does.
Wake up with me as I smile for the first time this week. You know it’s not a real smile though, because my life is extremely boring and predictable. Get turned on knowing that fake smile is only due to society’s expectation that Friday means the weekend and everyone should be happy. Take solace in knowing that you know what is coming next on Saturday and that all the grandiose plans I talk about are merely wishful thinking. Watch as I walk down to my desk, full of positive vibes, only to find five new meetings on my calendar, which are sure to contain more work for me to do. In your mind, the figurative tears forming in my eyes are liquid gold.
Suspenseful Saturday (Interactive)
After watching on Friday, I will let the tension build all day for you as you wait for me to go live at midnight. You can’t wait to get confirmation that all of the things I had wanted to do were thrown by the wayside in favor of watching YouTube videos of people doing them instead. When I log in at midnight, you will find me sitting alone in the dark, with a TV flickering behind me. On it there will be some shitty action movie that scored less than 20% on Rotten Tomatoes. I will look into the camera and answer all the questions you have to make sure you feel better about yourself. Drink in the pleasure when you ask me things like: “Did you work out this week?” / “When was the last time you made your bed?” / “Did you miss another work deadline?” / “How’s your back?”
I guarantee you the answers will bring you joy, knowing that you are better than me or equally as lazy of a piece as shit as me. Compared to the better than thou posts on Facebook, Saturdays will leave content and at peace.
Nothing will cure your Sunday Scaries like watching me pace around the house after 5pm constantly checking my work calendar and wondering out load how I am going to get all the work done that I had pushed off throughout the week. Watch as I take 5000mg of Melatonin and still can’t fall asleep. Take full satisfaction in the incoherent babbling and utterly ridiculous theories that come out of my mouth as I lay there waiting for my brain to shut down.
Crying while paying bills
Cussing out my lawn mower or weed-wacker as it eventually stops working half-way through
Listening to my obligatory family call as they yell at me through the phone and tell me what I failure I am
Sitting on the toilet as long as I can before going back to my desk (at least 5 times a week)
Laying on the floor cramping, because I didn’t stretch
Starting a fun project and then not finishing, because I am an unmotivated loser
Attempting to make funny videos, then deleting them when I realize how terribly unfunny I am
And much much more!
Subscribe now at a special price, originally $100 a month, subscribe now for 6 months for $500 and get one month free! You’ll also get exclusive access to my private snapchat, where I post videos of my daily emotional meltdowns during lunch.
You won’t regret it!
Start feeling better about yourself after week one or get your money back!
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Thanks for reading, ~RD