If You Do This, You’re the Worst Type of Human on Earth

Prepare to be triggered.

It has to be one of the most insufferable things someone can say, it’s overused, annoying, and usually completely untrue. The people who do this spend too much time browsing BuzzFeed, taking online quizzes, and probably share posts that are copy and pasted. Many of those who choose to do this heinous act can be originally seen as “normal” or a “friend”.

But, the perception changes quickly, when during a regular conversation, this person will exclaim:

“OH. MY. GOD. That person (random), looks JUST LIKE this person” (even more random).

This statement is usually made with extreme conviction and is done so in a completely unnecessary high-pitched tone. The conversation then comes to a complete halt.

Everyone now realizes that whoever just made this statement is in fact, a moron and basically the scum of the earth.

The only, and I repeat, ONLY time, someone looks ‘just like’ someone else is if they are identical twins. They have a term for that, identical twins. People will do this with babies. I am sorry. NO. My seven-day old daughter doesn’t look just like me. She is a BABY and a girl. I am a man in my 30s with a beard and back hair. There is no way any baby looks even close to me, unless maybe it’s weird baby gorilla.

The appropriate thing to do, if you’re tired of the online quizzes, which tell you what Disney princess you are, or what your favorite pizza topping is based on some shitty algorithm that some kid probably came up with; is to point out that MAYBE, MAYBE a specific feature of someone reminds you of a feature of someone else.

Example: “Oh my goodness, DaLEO, your eyes remind me of Zac Efron’s eyes.” I would say thank you, I am very attractive just like Zac Efron, however we do not look alike, but I can see how my eyes may draw that comparison.

Please calm down though, because I am married. However, if you would like to fantasize about me and Zac Efron together, I guess that’s fine... 2020.


Here’s the deal. Is this a little hyperbolic?

Probably not.



Are you going to think twice before you waste time on Buzzfeed, online quizzes, or aimless comparing humans that look nothing alike?


Let’s hope so.

Thanks again for reading!

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