Author: Mike Urgo
It’s been 91 days since episode 49. Why?
I don’t feel obligated to release an episode just to put content out. I want to believe in the topic. I also wanted to change the approach. Previously, I was typing everything out, and I think the written product suffered. Moving forward, I’m going to spend the first two or three minutes of the video giving the executive brief on the topic, then extrapolate from there for those who want to keep listening. The written version (this part) will stay quick and concise.
Before I jump in, I want to take a moment to acknowledge episode 50 itself. For me, it’s a meaningful milestone. Those who have followed since the beginning know the purpose of this series was to grow my personal brand and stay sharp while I searched for my next full‑time role.
Now that I’ve been in my new role for almost nine months, I’m proud of the growth I’ve made — personally and professionally — and I’m excited for where life goes next, with Intellectual Nebula there to help memorialize it.
That’s why I wanted episode 50 to be special. I’ve been workshopping this metaphor in my head for years, using it in different situations at work and in my personal life. It’s a metaphor for how I see life. People often ask how or why I’m into so many different things — technology, TV shows, movies, Legos, hunting, fishing, sports, building things… the list goes on.
My answer has always been the same:
We only get one playthrough in this life. I want to experience everything it has to offer.
I compare it to going to an amusement park — or more recently, since we’ve gone three of the last five years, Disney World. When we first went and didn’t know if we’d ever go back, I wanted to ride all the rides. I wanted to try the food, see the shows, and meet as many characters as possible with my family. Why not? Why not experience as much as I can?
That’s how I think.
And until a few years ago, I thought that’s how everyone should think.
But as I’ve continued down my own maturation journey, I’ve realized that what works for me doesn’t always work for others. On paper, you might say: “DUH, Urgo, of course that’s the case.” But if that’s true, why do we — as people and as leaders — so often impose our way of doing things on others?
If you’ve been married or had kids, you know how many people try to tell you the exact way to do things. There are even Disney “hardos” who, the moment they hear you’re going, feel the need to tell you the one correct way to do Disney.
Which, when you step back, is crazy. What works for me and my family won’t necessarily work for someone else’s.
The same applies to leadership, inside and outside the workplace. Telling people exactly how to get something done doesn’t help them grow or become their best. It just forces them down the path we believe is best. This is where the metaphor becomes powerful.
Imagine taking your family to Disney World and being forced to follow another family’s itinerary — the rides, the food, the hotel, everything. That would SUCK.
But how often do we do that as leaders? We’re so focused on ensuring the desired result that we feel the need to dictate the approach. I’ve even had leaders tell me how to take notes after meetings. That level of control shifts the focus away from the outcome.
As leaders, our job is to define what success looks like and empower people to create their own path to get there. This doesn’t mean we can’t guide or share lessons learned. It just means we shouldn’t dictate the method. When you create that kind of environment, people actually want your advice — and they can incorporate it into their plan.
Back to the metaphor: if someone tells me they’re going to Disney, before I start dropping knowledge about how I do Disney, I’m going to ask one question:
What are your goals for the trip, and how can I help?
It’s important to assume positive intent — I’ve never believed people are trying to do anything other than help. But it’s equally important to remember how it feels when someone comes in hot and tells you exactly how something should be done. Whether it’s a vacation, a life challenge, or a task at work, just because an approach worked for you doesn’t mean it applies to everyone.
Seek to understand what success looks like for them, and then use your experience to help them get there — while supporting their methodology.
Thanks for reading, I would love to hear what you think in the comments.
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