Author: Mike Urgo
Before I start, I hope everyone had a fun and safe holiday weekend. My family and I thoroughly enjoyed our vacation and a break from the normal day to day. The break also gave me time to think of some new topics, and I am excited to share them.
Time is such a crazy topic. I think I will eventually have an entire playlist of episodes devoted to time and the infinite applications (see what I did there) time has on our lives, both inside and outside of work. For this week, it started with a typical scenario that often happens to me.
I think in today’s age where everyone has a smartphone, we all fall into two categories:
- Those who answer messages right away
- Those who either delay responses or don’t respond at all
Before anyone starts to get triggered, neither are ideal. I am going to explain why, and how to try and balance your communication strategy when it comes to texts, Slack, Microsoft Teams Messages, emails, WebEx chats, DMs, etc.
Back to the typical scenario. I am someone who falls into the first category. It’s a problem and probably tied to my (probably) undiagnosed OCD. I don’t have unread messages. Ever. My inbox is always clean and if you text me and I don’t text you back within an hour, we are either fighting, or someone should call 9-1-1. The only exception to this is when I am on vacation. I try to make it a point to relax a bit and fight the inner voice that would rather deal with something in the moment than put it off. But, as those of you who are in the second category know, sometimes, when you delay your response, people figure things out on their own.
That is a regular occurrence that reminds me that I need to continue to improve my balancing of time. More specifically, the balance of time I take to respond to texts, emails, DMs, etc. Early in my career, it was my belief that the quicker I could be accessible or respond to the needs of my people or clients, the more credibility and value they would see in me. The reality is, that when I am not intentional and give in to my natural state of instant response, I can create some problems for myself.
- I may be creating the illusion that I am not, in fact, busy.
- I can set unrealistic expectations for myself.
- I may not have the full context of the problem before responding.
- I can create an environment where I become a crutch for people.
- I can make tasks take longer, because I am constantly stopping to answer messages or emails.
I once had a mentor pull me aside and tell me that by answering immediately at any hour, I am creating an environment where that is the norm expected of me. He asked me: “Do you like answering questions at 10pm on a Saturday? Well, the more you do, the more people will expect it. This is where the balance comes to play. The fact is, especially in Information Technology where support can be 24/7 and software patches are done overnight on the weekends, that those calls happen and require your full attention. But if your co-worker has a question and they just need to get it out of their head and into an email at 10pm on a Saturday, that can wait until Monday. In fact, it could probably wait until Monday afternoon, because there’s a significant chance that they can find the answer on their own.
What about the second category? Are you someone whose unread messages are constantly growing? Do you find that you check your texts and see that you forgot to answer your friend from a week ago? You’re not alone! Being in this category comes with a different set of problems, which can include:
- You can create an illusion of not caring.
- People can view you as not approachable.
- A problem could get solved in the wrong manner without your timely input.
- It can create an environment where people stop communicating with you.
One of my favorite supervisors fell into this boat and before I was able to talk things out with them early in our working relationship, I had this internal feeling like I was being ignored. The truth: they hated the internal communication tool at the company, and they were included in over one hundred emails a day. So, I wasn’t being ignored. I was just getting lost in the mix and using a method of communication that didn’t work for them. I learned that if I needed them, all I had to do was text and usually within two hours or less, I had an answer. I also knew that if there was an email that needed their attention, if I texted them a heads up, they wouldn’t miss it.
So, how do we find the right balance when it comes to managing the timeliness of responses?
It first starts with self-awareness and understanding what bucket you fit into naturally. The check? Look at your inbox or your messages app icon. Do you have unread messages that you haven’t thought about at all? Or do you have this inherent need to start typing the second you see the red bubble or pop-up notification? Once you have made some reflection and accepted the bucket you are in, it’s now time to be intentional. Being intentional with your actions, especially when it’s something that has been muscle memory for years, is extremely challenging. For me, this is something that I will always have to work on and is harder to deal with when trying to make a good first impression.
Being intentional also means taking the time to understand what the message is and when it should be addressed. It can also mean setting reminders to clean out your inbox or go through text messages to make sure you don’t miss something important. It’s just another level of discipline that, if applied, can help you be that much more successful in all of your relationships both inside and outside of work.
The final step is to communicate with people. Just by communicating, like I did with that past supervisor, you will find that you can set expectations and avoid any unwanted false narratives. This is especially important as you’re making a change. If I have been responding instantly to a team for over a year and suddenly stopped. They could start to think something was wrong. Communication is key to so much in life and when it comes to finding the balance of time in responding to messages, it shouldn’t be forgotten.
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