ANNOUNCEMENT: I am Retiring

This is big. This is important. It's taken a lot of self reflection and meditation to come to this decision.

As an avid football fan, I have watched hours and hours of NFL and College football. But now, I am done. In fact, I may never watch another sport again.

Let me paint the scene for you: I have the day off Friday, and I am relaxed, watching the Thursday night football game between the Eagles and the Giants with money on the Giants +3.5 and a little on them moneyline. I am sitting in bed watching the end of the game as the Giants decide they don’t want to win and cover both bets and a commercial comes on as the game ends. The room is dark, and I am almost ready to turn off the TV and fall asleep, but then the screen lights up and two people are free falling as skydivers!

Original Link: facebook.com/mdlottery/videos /3363298493789655/

I instantly sat up a little bit, I have ALWAYS wanted to sky dive! My attention was immediately dialed onto the screen that was in no way a green screen and 100% real people skydiving. The guy, who had to yell at the top of his lugs to be heard started sharing words of wisdom. He had scratch-off tickets! Scratch-off tickets? I was always told growing up that scratch-off tickets are only for throwing your money away. I didn’t realize it could potentially be more exciting and extreme then placing a few bucks on football games!

I think I have been missing out on an experience. Apparently, there are not one by TWO extreme scratch-off games offered by the Maryland Lottery! This is almost too much to comprehend. Two different ways to get an extreme experience comparable to SKYDIVING?! Count me in! The best part is, for the Extreme Green you can win $10,000 and there are 98 top prizes remaining, which means people have won. There’s even a 1 in 3.45 chances of winning one of the prizes for that one! The Pink one is even more CRAZY! It’s called Extreme Cash and the top prize is $100,000 and there are 59 winning tickets remaining there. The odds of winning something on the pink one are even better at 1 in 2.79!

Unbelievable! To think too, that the green one is only $10 and the pink one is only $30! I am so excited to quit watching sports and gambling on sports and switch to an extreme experience like this! As soon as this blog is posted, you can believe I will be heading to the ATM and taking out enough cash to get enough tickets to entertain me all day on Saturday and Sunday! I normally watch close to 20 hours of football a day, which translates to 1,200 minutes. I am guessing that in order to enjoy each ticket and take time for bathroom breaks, I will need about 5 minutes a ticket. This means I need 240 tickets, which really doesn’t seem that much. Now if I want to split the experience evenly between the green tickets and the pink tickets, that means that I only need to take out $4,800.00 in cash to play this weekend.

Small price to pay for the chance at winning so much money AND the extreme rush and feeling of skydiving within your own home! The only concern I will have is what kind of outfit I should wear this weekend to prepare for this experience, and making sure I get enough of those scratcher tools that apparently enhance the experience even more!

What does piss me off is, my birthday isn't in February, so according to the Maryland Lottery, my Extreme Scratch-Pff name is: "Astounding Mountain Biker". That is bullshit. I am breaking the rules and going with "Stoked Wingsuit Flyer", because what is more extreme than a wingsuit!? I feel bad for all you peasants doing dumb shit this weekend like watching football or going on hikes and stuff. You will be missing out on the most extreme fun experience in scratching off tickets for a chance to win money. Oh well. Not everyone is cut out for the extreme life!

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~RD

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